It's the second night in a row I've been up between 1 and 3 a.m., unable to sleep for over an hour, and not bright enough to figure out why right away. Oh, yeah, the Kraken! Seriously, awakened by hunger? It's not like I'm living through the potato famine or something. I eat! A LOT! Often! A good mix of carbs, fat, and protein. Honestly I do.
I just don't understand. Especially last night, after I ate 4 suppers? (You bet your bippy I ate a couple leftover meatballs and some veggies before I went to bed, in addition to the other three meals. Gah.) Tonight, after I ate half a dinner and then snacked on appetizers, apple crisp, and a half bottle of wine for hours? Actually, tonight makes a little more sense because I ate a smaller lunch and had a lot of veggies, fruits, and carbs this evening, but little protein (just the cheese and yogurt in the stealthily healthy fruit and veggies dips I made), so that'll empty my stomach out faster.
But, this is getting ridiculous. It's not in my head, I swear. We're talking loud growly stomach, and that empty bottomless pit feeling, the lightheaded/racing heart/MUSTEATNOW loveliness. In broad daylight I can predict and prevent this feeling an hour in advance. When I wake up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason (i.e., husband's snoring is at manageable levels), it takes me 45 minutes of rolling around and readjusting and counting sheep to figure it out. But, it's the real deal: sharp physical hunger pangs. True that I have been working out like a mofo the last couple days (update: knees still hosed for running - did Jillian and a 4-mile brisk walk today). Regardless, if my metabolism is truly that amped, or, more accurately, that easily stoked, I must be burning fuel like a forest fire, right? I wonder what my base metabolic rate is? Shouldn't I be dropping 10 lbs. a week? Oh yeah, except that I must be eating thousands and thousands of calories a day. Ugh. I don't know how anyone ever goes on a calorie-restricted diet. I don't dare not eat when I'm hungry, as anyone who knows me has seen Ms. PsychoEvilHungryBitch emerge when my blood sugar drops. I actually arrange my life around not getting too hungry. You will very seldom find me away from home without a water bottle and a snack. It's just inadvisable, for me and for the general population. So this midnight stealth strike is shaking me up a bit, as well as tiring me out.
Ah, well. I guess I keep exercising to the limits of my knees and my common sense, and remember to eat something fatty-proteiny-fibery not long before bed every night (apple with cheese, apple with almond butter [apple surfeit in these parts], chocolate milk or almond milk with veggies or nuts, anything except the sugar-crashy stuff really). Maybe I can contain the Kraken and sleep through the night. The question is: can I contain the Kraken enough to actually lose weight? And, once the Kraken goes back in the cage, can I intuitively dial down the eating to my activity level? Jury's out, and I'm going back to bed ... after I eat a few more nuts.
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